Streams of Thought!!

With a 3 consecutive holidays & a break for my CAT weekend classes i as usually woke up in the morning telling bye to my parents who were on their way to my native,came out of my room looking at myself in the mirror.thinking what does it reflect?seeing an image of myself, that image which i show to the world ....staring at it thinking how much ive changed from the way i was in my school days,the way i was a pet student to my teachers,the way i actively participated in all that i can like sports,music ,drama and dance competition,the way i was famous for being the only National level NTS scholar from my school....then coming back to the present life comparing myself & wondering about it. I stop for a few minutes meditating what to do... switched on my comp & sat glued in front of my computer chatting,taking quizzes on facebook( which i tend to call stupid but at times turns out to be stress reliever after really horrible incidents in this really terrible world outside..)..then entered on youtube typing in the words like "friends", "life ", "memories"and when the other words just followed itself chose the lines which suited my mood for that moment... there i found a video which made me really emotional and helped me let my tears out, which was held back since a few days time for now...which was VITAMIN C "FRIENDS FOREVER"....Memories flash back.With each passing day, seconds have turned into minutes, minutes into hours, hours into days, days into months & months into years.... All I could think of was the last 3years of my life. I sit totally benumbed with my gaze affixed on the snaps we friends had taken,which we had considered as the most jobless thing we were doing when ever we hanged out and we never knew how much it means when we sit back and watch them at times like this...

The first day when i entered the college with all the enthusiasm ,dreaming big ,expecting few seniors to rag me ,to make friends ..and telling myself see there a group of people ,may be they are your classmates go speak,say hi,make friends..thats when i ended up saying a big Hi to a girl waving my hand and smiling with all 32 teeths open & ended up being laughed at,:( all that i could think then about her was "how rude?".LOL...but now all that i say and be is with her, who makes me feel like im the world. :) Gradually all the only 10 girls were friends who carried different dreams with an image of their own.& somewhere around mid 2nd year guys were also friends and there was a big naughty monkey gang of our own by the end of 2nd year.. we as a group started hanging out for treks, trips, movies, eat-outs,& not to forget our college C bench,nescafe & parking lots and the celebrations of Holi , ethnic day , utsav, Birthdays (and not to forget the stay overs :) ),..  moments like playing lagoori ,cricket, basket ball,  badminton ,dumb charades, a play on stage, singing ,dancing , pulling each others legs & seeing those few little hurt hearts cry..& what not..But never knew we would end up being this close by the end of 3 years ,that we cant imagine a life with out seeing each other everyday like the way we see now.We never thought of a bad days in our lives ,must say never ever thought we would come across one either!but experienced a few of them also ,well but life still moves on & we should learn from the bad experiences to become a better person who can challenge a tougher tomorrow.And thats when u get to realize who your true friends are and the back biters..

Convincing myself i started posing few questions at myself "Life...What is it? An everchanging metamorphosis of existence?"

" Who am I in reality? People around me categorizes me in the shackles of different tags... but I do not want such designations and identifications... I am what I believe I am...", how should i deal about my emotions ,when im expected to stay clam and focused & many more which were left un-answered.

My life is on the verge of completing 21 years... 21 years of happiness, sorrows, goals ,ambitions, crushes , disappointments , pain, afflictions, hatred, paradoxes and dissatisfaction.

The horizon of dreams is distant but in focus.....perhaps my life is too blurred to realize them... maybe I am too ignorant... probably I don't even want to realize those dreams... Indeed!I'm not even trying to realize them... but everything around me is undergoing metamorphosis.All that I can say myself is "I MUST CHANGE"... I need to recognize my passion , I need to work towards it. If not now, never again will I get another chance.. BUT WILL I BE ABLE TO?.. this still remains a question..........