Saturday, July 3, 2010

To find yourself, first lose yourself!!

              With new dreams & hopes I’ve stepped into a new life by making few tough decisions of my life when I was caught up with all different equally important options. The day I made my decisions things were different and every path showed me the direction to the decision I've made. Leaving behind everything, I carried just memories along with me, with absolutely no idea what’s waiting for me at the other end of this new journey.



Day 1: Felt like I was in some fairy like dreamland reading few lines on the boards on my way up the hill about imagination, how thoughts make us, loving our work & few more gyaan lines by great people & great minds. I missed my Dad, because he was the only one missing when I came to my new home #411, hostel H, which will remain my home for the next 2 years. My mom, sister, jeeju & even kids (my niece & nephew) were more excited than me. We were all at the harvard steps of the so called “The IIM K” my new campus. The first friend I made "Gauri" from Delhi, the one in the room opposite to mine. 

The view from my window was like the way I had never imagined. Greenary all around and misty hills behind many more misty hills and few more fading behind them to the world which extended to infinity awwwwwwww wonderful.


Day 2: My prep course started with a good start with just one hour class. Made few more good friends. Went out on a trip with my family visited Waynad & beaches. Shopped in the main city of Calicut & got back to my home "sweet home”. Decorated it with not much stuff kept it "sweet & simple".



Day3: Day4, Day 5... Wake up get ready for the class ,come back to room or cc lab spend some time & attend seniors session in the nights, complete their assignments & tasks, travel to main gates with "sapna & suja", the mushy bushy talks with them, walks down the hill with "shruthi" , the class trips to calicut ,kappad beach, the castle building in the sea sand & the late night chats with my hostel friends all Hindi friends. 

Finally realized its my only life time opportunity to learn to speak in Hindi thoroughly!!


Later just got lost in time, with assignments, placecom task & din't even realize its been almost 2 weeks I was here. Decided to visit Bangalore, my friends & family. 

Also with a purpose of shopping few more stuffs & to get along few forgotten documents from Bangalore. Finally had a good time with friends, treats & shopping malls in Bangalore. But failed to spend even 1 hour time with family. By the time I could get some time with family, it was time to leave Bangalore.
                                    


Was back to my new sweet home, with a new member in my room- my roomy "Ankitha mukerji".The officially first day in IIMK was waiting for us "The induction program" which was a welcome speech by the director, the chairperson & few more important officially dignified people of our institution The "IIMK”. After the induction program was the group photo session in the so called "Harvard steps”. When I stood there to pose for the picture perfect. I felt the chill pass through my veins & those goosebumps… shhhhh …..That minute I was just so happy & for the first time felt proud for making it to the IIM. That feeling was priceless. :) :)








As the time passed I got so loaded with assignments & tasks. Never even found time to view the scenic beauty outside my window anymore. Got so so lost in acads that one fine day when it was raining & I was inside a classroom discussing about our casestudy.

I took a break to have some time for tea.. Came out to see the wonderful rain drizzling and the awesome perfect weather "the weather I once loved when in Bangalore, the weather which brought back my memories "decision,confusion day”. Enjoyed the tea sip by sip by viewing the scenic beauty around the campus. Wondering where I have landed, how my life has changed, how less I’ve been sleeping, how I’ve been skipping my lunch & dinner to manage my so little time. 

The value of time was the first lesson I was taught. Even now while blogging all that is going on my mind is "finish this soon, you have an assignment to work on- read today ,start soon or else you’ll screw up your first "quiz". 


Yeah !!! Just like how I blogged in between my Engineering exam. I’m blogging and pouring out what ever I feel on the day before my "1st quiz". I’m lost in time in this new journey of life, hope I’ll find myself soon, the me , the one I always dreamt to be or better than what I thought I want to be”. Signing out bye-bye!!

                                                            


PS: This was the nutshell of what I could wrap up and put into few words, about my 1st few days in IIMK, oops sorry "The IIMK"!!This post already shows how my blogging style has changed & become worse. Not much time to imagine & write more creative. Please excuse if I disappointed you by writing a post that is way below my standards and below your expectation :P 



Friday, March 12, 2010

"Walk a little distance with me ,..see it your self" :)






           Well everyone who knows me by now, knows the fact of me being fidha over Shreya Ghoshal, her voice and her songs. What a lovely melodious voice! And the way she carries it off with an unusual kind off emotional feel, the sudden highs and lows in her tone, matching the perfect mood... simply awesome, brilliant, mind-blowing &..... (trying to find the best adjective possible).

I do not watch TV, I happen to just listen to FM Radio quite often. I hear all the songs but "listen" to very few especially shreya's. I get so carried away by her songs even before I would have listened and analysed the lyrics and its meaning. I'll simply be drawn towards her voice unconsciously. Only then will I try to listen to the lyrics, curiously trying to understand the meaning. 

Right now I'm listening to this particular song "dhoora swalpa dhoora"  which is definitely one of the best composition and music this year. Few of my fav songs, sung by her in kannada
- Hoovina banadhanthe -Birugali,
- Araamagi idhe naanu -GOKULA
- Neenedhu neenedhu nodu -Gilli
- Na naguva modhalene- Manasare
- Male Baruva haagidhe -Moginna manase
- Krishna nee begane baaro -Paris Pranaya
- Araluthiru jeevadha geleya & ivanu geleyanalla -Mungaru male
- Manasalle mathadhuve -Geleya
- Male ninthu hodha mele - Milana,...among kannada songs.

Hindi songs the list goes on beyond what I can list here

I get so involved in her songs that I automatically start to feel the emotions in the song, the way it's composed to be.

Music is close to my heart, if someone needs to get there.. it will be through music. Tears of happiness & contentment like I've owned something is what I feel like when I listen to her songs, her voice and the emotions just comes out like the bubbles from the soap water when stirred rigorously.

Full kush & thats the main reason I tend to sing only her songs where ever & whenever I get a chance to sing.May be thats why my friends call me "hopeless romantic", well when they initially tagged me so i was shocked "why the hell am i called so? am i so hopeless with absolutely no feelings at all.." But later learnt that it meant the other way round which was to look at the world and everything around us & feel its beautiful.

Here is the translation of the lyrics I'm listening to right now…
"Dhoora swalpa Dhoora"
https://youtu.be/6-FVZPZkLog
Hope everyone enjoys the song more after reading this :-)

Walk a little distance with me…
And see it for yourself…
Stop and have a look at me…
Just once… 
When you are watching me…
I’ll run away…from myself…
A word (of heart) dissolves at the tip of my lips…
And I look around evadingly…
Stealthy eyes…are lying…
See it for yourself… 

You are in my heart…
Yet you stand so afar…
The moment without you…
Is like a garland of thousand thorns on me…
Shall I hug you without telling…?
Shall I give you a peck…?
A drop of tear is revealing everything…
See it for yourself… 

Even with this separation between us…
Why there is so much of proximity…?
I’ll laugh…would keep laughing…
Yet I have to suffer this pain…
Shall I cry off once…?
Shall I die off in your arms…?
My small heart is shaking vigorously…
See it for yourself…


PS: Bairi piya bada bedardi ISHHHREYA!!

Sunday, March 7, 2010

NEVER ENDING IF NOT AN HAPPY ENDING!! :)

                         

       The tick-toking clock on the wall informed her it was 12:30 p.m in the afternoon....only 12:30?? She shuddered to think of how slowly time would pass that day, though she hadn't had her breakfast yet.

        The warm afternoon sunlight was pouring into her room from the eastern windows bathing her in its glow. She closed her eyes in contentment and realized what exactly she needed at the moment. Unconsciously she started walking towards the direction of the temple, which she had once visited after someone "then" really close to her had told about it. That place reminded her of the few sweet memories which brought a cute smile on her face which was soon followed by the hard memories and tears flowed down her cheeks. She started walking away hiding her tears, and she came across an old tree which ones looked full with leaves and flowers. She had adored the same tree every time she saw, she thought everything around looked nice and beautiful “then”. But now the tree looked dead. 
Now had changed so drastically from then. The withering leaves at the tips of the branches confirmed her worst fears.


     'It isn't dead yet' a voice spoke from behind. She turned around to look at a wrinkled old man with a clutching stick in his hand. She asked 'How do you know?'
He smiled.'You see those upper branches' he pointed in the direction- 'look closely…… can't you see something there.. a little away from dried leaves?'
She followed his gaze and squinted in the sunlight.


Her eyes widened because sure enough, she could see tiny green leaflets sprouting from the tip of a branch. He was right.


'I think your eyesight is better than mine Uncle.....' She said with a surprise.


‘Eyesight has nothing to do with it....' he added- 'I could see because I was looking for it. You didn't see because you believed the tree was dead.'


       Suddenly her face broke into the widest smile in months. How foolish had she been to assume that her story was over! The story of life was ever-changing....ever-evolving.

It simply never ended. As long as she was alive and breathing, as long as she could feel the heat of the sun, as long as she could dream. She knew she had a purpose. She had a hundred more stories to write, a thousand more smiles to spread and a million more lives to touch. She need not worry about her ending anymore. For her, the story was only just the beginning, like a famous saying every cloud has a silver lining! She believed in herself and hoped to look for a golden lining!!
                         




PS: Only you can lift up yourself in the worst times of fear and failure. You were meant to be awesome, not perfect.